idiosyncreant (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
idiosyncreant) wrote2011-04-16 10:24 am
idiosyncreant) wrote2011-04-16 10:24 am
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It is time to move on.
I was just thinking yesterday that my primary incentive in writing better for a while now has been a fear of exposing myself to ridicule.
This can't be healthy.
I need a new sort of motivation--when I was a pretentious teen with ideas about Literature, I did things from a sort of mixture of desiring to do more awesome things and a hubris that I was doing stuff that was awesome.
The onset of professionalism, with actual research of the business standard, changed my understanding of how good I had to be. Getting outside critique of my work and learning more harsh self-evaluation changed my understanding of how good I was.
Read: not very. Because talent and skill are so very much not the same thing.
But really. I need to move on from that panic-state. Feeling like any moment may reveal something I've been considering well done is actually utter dreck and nonsense.
Not because it can never happen--but because that is an inadequate source of motivation.
What to choose?
I was just thinking yesterday that my primary incentive in writing better for a while now has been a fear of exposing myself to ridicule.
This can't be healthy.
I need a new sort of motivation--when I was a pretentious teen with ideas about Literature, I did things from a sort of mixture of desiring to do more awesome things and a hubris that I was doing stuff that was awesome.
The onset of professionalism, with actual research of the business standard, changed my understanding of how good I had to be. Getting outside critique of my work and learning more harsh self-evaluation changed my understanding of how good I was.
Read: not very. Because talent and skill are so very much not the same thing.
But really. I need to move on from that panic-state. Feeling like any moment may reveal something I've been considering well done is actually utter dreck and nonsense.
Not because it can never happen--but because that is an inadequate source of motivation.
What to choose?